A Shot Of Dopamine
by BoNeS-FaN91
Summary: Rachel shook her head, "Every time I see you, you give me a shot of dopamine and it's addictive. Another matter that gave me the conclusion that I am in love with you." Strong T.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did I'd have Emma fired so Will would be with Rachel and Puck would walk around shirtless all the time.

A/N: I know I should be writing my other story but I couldn't get this out of my head. It will only be a two part story. As some of you may know I'm a biologist in training so I thought I'd be a little tiny bit science-y with you guys. Just bear with me. =D

Chapter ONE.

Friday 08:30pm… (2017)

Hurrying up the steps of her apartment building Rachel squinted her eyes against the fierce wind and driving rain, which was turning rapidly into sleet. It whipped her face and tingled as it pricked at her eyes. Making a soft purring noise as if it would somehow urge her to keep going. Then she stopped and groaned as she fought with her lock that refused to turn until finally, the door opened and she fell into the warmth of her apartment, for a long moment, she just stood there, thinking about the day's event, not really taking the time to do much else. It made her sad. Angry all the things she believed to be irrational. Then shaking the dampness off her brown hair, she walked further into the apartment and removed her heavy wet coat and hung it in the bathroom to dry then pulled her boots off before she ran a brush through the tangled tresses. She looked in the mirror without really seeing her appearance except a blob for her face, two deep brown eyes that just seemed dull now. The memories of that same afternoon played within her head. She remembered his words exactly.

_"I moved on Rachel. You're too late. You're the one to blame"_ she couldn't say his words didn't hurt like a ball of fire. He was right. She waited too long. He had all the right to be a free man, to plan dates and such but when she told him that she loved him and she wanted him after all of those years of working by his side, she really did think he'd drop it all and follow her…How naïve was she?

One by one she peeled her clothes off as she stood there, dropping her navy blue cashmere skirt and white blouse on the floor besides her trembling legs, she turned the tap and a rush of hot water ran into the white tub.

**Same Day: 9:00 am.**

"Will, I…I think I'm in love with you," she told him while he drove her to work.

They had both moved to New York after graduation. At first when Rachel found out that her old teacher was in the same city as her she would avoid all the places that he would go. A part of her thought it was because she wasn't living the life that she had expected therefore she was ashamed, embarrassed to tell someone from her past that she had failed, but when times got hard and she found herself being thrown out of her apartment she had turned to Will for help. And help he gave her, after two unsuccessful auditions Will had talked to her about her other options. At first she had been hurt that he had lost believe in her but once she understood it herself she had declared that she wanted to be a teacher. A music teacher, and with a great degree in musical arts, Will was supportive and after two solid months of job searching Rachel had found the perfect job at a private school. At the time Will had been thrilled and took her out for dinner to celebrate, but when she had told him that the job also gave her a great apartment with it. It had saddened him that she wouldnt be living him and he didn't know it at first but on the second day of her absence he had discovered that he was in love with her. He loved waking up in the morning and seeing her making breakfast whilst singing to the radio. He loved arguing with her about music choices, loved laughing at her jokes and at how dramatic she was. He loved; well _her_ and he told her so. She had been thrilled and scared and when he kissed her, she had pushed him away and told him that she was too confused to be with him yet. That was four years ago.

He looked at her in disbelieve and annoyance. "You think? Come on Rachel…We already went down that road. You chose to leave our relationship platonic. I told you I had to move on Rach. I told you if we ever crossed this bridge again you would have to be sure. I need my forever. I thought it was you, but you told me you couldn't do it, you told me you couldn't change, so this is me….moving on. You had your…chance." he told her and continued to drive without looking at her.

Rachel was speechless, her jaw dropped a little, "Will…You know I…" she licked her lips and went on, "I can't process these things like regular women. It takes time for me to properly give my feelings a sound….This is me trying to change Will," she said and paused for him to speak.

When he didn't she continued, "How do you expect me to feel Will? In high school I was all on my own. I've never had someone want me. Maybe Finn but look what happened to him. He ran as soon as things got hard. I learnt to defend myself by not feeling. Seeing you going on dates with other women. Women who are beautiful and smart. How do you think that makes me feel?"

His hands tightened around the steering wheel, "I don't know Rachel. Why don't you enlighten me?" he responded with the smallest hint of aggravation.

"It gets me irrationally angry. The last one you dated…I wanted to beat her with a drumstick…" he chuckled and continued to drive. "It is not funny Will. I didn't know why I felt like I did. I had to search through some psychology journals! The feeling I felt made me contradict myself. I remember studying this at school; I know that the release of oxycotin is to blame. It's like…dopamine. When you're in love, dopamine gives you the same feeling as when one would feel when on cocaine…"

"Are you saying I feel like a drug? Or that you're on cocaine?" Will asked.

Rachel shook her head, "Every time I see you, you give me a shot of dopamine and it's addictive. Another matter that gave me the conclusion that I am in love with you was the levels of my adrenaline. It's on standby. When you're near, my pupils are bigger, my heart rate increases…I have observed this…." She said on a side note, "my breathing gets faster AND I'm not so hungry anymore. You wanna know why?" she asked. "Because being in love screws up my adrenaline…it messes with my digestive system, it works slower…That's how I know that I love you Will…" she touched his hand to get a reaction from him, when he pulled away she looked down at her knees and tightened her lips together.

"Rachel, I don't want to hear the science of love. I'm not even sure why you're mentioning science. All I ever wanted out of us was a love that life cannot define. I love you too Rachel. I really do. I would kill for you, but I want you to want me forever not because you are experiencing what you have read in some books but because you truly and completely love me without a doubt and your "I think I'm in love with you" speech just isn't enough for me,"

She nodded and looked out the window before she looked down at her notes and nodded once more, "fine, okay," she paused to compose herself, "Today I finish work at 6. I have to help my colleague with some term papers."

"No, No, No Rachel…You aren't getting out of this one just yet. I want to hear what you know about love." she was about to open her mouth when he rapidly added, "not scientifically."

She thought about it. Never had someone ever asked her this question before, every man that she had ever dated didn't really care for love. They just wanted her and once they had what they wanted they would usually leave. "Love has three stages. First comes lust, which is driven by the sex hormones testos…"

"Seriously Rachel what's with the science?"

"How can I define love if I cannot mention what is involved in it?" she asked and crossed her arms. He looked at her and shook his head before a small sigh left his lips. "Fine" she added, "Love has three stages," her eyebrows rose as she looked at him then continue, "There is Lust. Attraction. And Attachment."

"And you feel all those?" he asked. She hadn't realized he had been driving them in a circle for the last ten minutes until the same sign she had spotted came into view again.

"Yes."

He gulped. His heartbeat started to speed up as his hands on the steering wheel started to sweat. "It's amazing," she went on, "When I'm near you, I become less intelligent and I run with the music," she smiled, "It's like I can't process my knowledge I only hear a melody but there's no words. You make me so angry that sometimes I don't know whether to kick you or rip your clothes off and kiss every part of your skin. You have no idea how often I fantasize about us together. I know I'm not the ideal woman and I'll probably never marry you, but I love you Will. I want my life to be with you. I'm sorry I took my time to realize it." She finally admitted and looked at him. She noticed his chest was starting to fall and rise faster than earlier and when he looked at her, she saw how dark his pupils turned. He stopped the car on the side of the road and looked at her intensely.

"Love is so confusing," she whispered in a sigh and before she had the chance to say anything else, his lips stopped her words and sent a powerful blast of emotions to her core. His body moved closer to hers as he continued to kiss her lips in a gentle, lingering touch with slight hesitation on both parts as they touched. Both taking their time to memorize the feeling before their lips parted and when they did Rachel's head felt like it was spinning with the passion she deeply felt.

"Will," she whispered and as he kissed her, his lips moved to her long slender neck and a little groan escaped him, he wanted more. She was his most powerful addiction that he had faced within his many years on earth. He pushed her closer to him as he continued to kiss her with lust, want, need and most importantly love.

"I love you," he groaned as his desperate breathing and touches became unbearable for them both. She grabbed his tie and yanked it off before she attacked his jaw with her lips as she sucked and kiss him. Her trembling hands then pulled his shirt from his jeans until the view of his defined abdomen came to sight. She grinned and complimented him before she moved over to his side, and sat on his lap. They were completely oblivious to their surroundings as their bodies expressed their want.

"Is that a banana or are you happy to see me?" she joked and wiggled on top of his aroused manhood with a devilish grin before she kissed the shock from his parted lips.

He kissed her back and ran his hand over the curves of her hips before he met her movement to release some of his arousal. An animalistic moan escaped his parted lips when he pushed back, "Damn it. We can't do this!" he told her. "Fuck… Look what you do to me!"

She looked down at him then moved back over to her side and fixed herself up with anger. "What I do to you? You were about to fuck me and I'm responsible for the actions you choose to make?" she scolded. "You were the one who stopped the car Will! You're the one who kissed me first! I only told you how I feel, but you blamed me for your actions?" She buttoned up her blouse that she didn't know had been undone and looked at him, "You see what I mean? You make me so angry!" she yelled and opened the car's door. "I'm walking to work today." She told him and stepped out of the car, "This was a bad idea and YOU still have a date with Cecilia tonight!" she yelled and slammed the door.

"You know what Rachel? I WILL go on that date after all," he yelled back, "I can't do it to myself…I need to move on. You know what? I have moved on Rachel. You're too late. You're the one to blame. I can't handle your constant dramatic moods," he shouted and regretted it immediately before he angrily sighed and drove away with frustration and arousal. He felt stupid for yelling back at her and he knew she was right. It wasn't her fault. He just needed to control himself out before he could be the man for the job. He had lusted after her for four years and he should have handled the situation differently.

When the tub was full of steaming water, Rachel's eyes lingered on the water before she slowly slipped in and let herself lay there and closed her eyes. For the briefest moment she felt as though she were floating, as though she had no past and no future, no fear or worries until little by little the present forced itself into her mind. She remembered the passion that she felt coming from him, she felt it in his touch, but then those little moments faded and the facts swam to the surface. He was out on the date. She imagined him in his casual yet perfect clothes sitting beside a beautiful woman while laughing at her witty comments. It made her sad and for the tenth maybe eleventh time that day she blamed herself for walking away. If she hadn't taken him too seriously maybe he would have been here with her and not out with….Celia…Cecile…whatever her name was, but if he was in love with her like the way he had claimed to be, why wasn't he fighting for them like he had done before?

She sighed and arched her back, which successfully allowed the water to cover her head, and as she held her breath she felt a wave of loneliness and want wash over her as she fought to stay under the hot water for a little longer. She could not get their moment that morning out of her mind. Each time she went there, she came back feeling worse. It was as if her mind was playing torturing games on her and when she tried to distract herself with a playlist for her class, she sighed; her heart wasn't in it. She had admitted her love for a man for the first time in her life and now as she glanced around she wondered briefly, for how long this would go on. For how long she would feel impaired, damaged as though the motor ran but the car would never again get out of first gear because never again would she confess to love because as she had learnt that day. Love only gets you hurt.

Thanks for Reading Sweeties xx


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter TWO

Rachel stepped out of the tub with her brown hair piled up into a loose knot atop of her hair with droplets of the water dripping onto her shoulders and floor. She reached for her towel and wrapped it around her body then padded barefoot to her room. She flicked the light switch on and slowly reached for her underwear draw to retrieve the piece then slowly stepped backwards until the back of her leg touched her bed and sitting on the edge she looked around the room with no purpose.

The feeling of loneliness was what she felt. And what could she do but to blame herself? This was the reason that she loved music. In music feelings could be portrayed in so many different ways and there was either a fact or a fiction that could be understood through the words. It was as simple as that, there were no complex life choices, just complex philosophy before it turned to music and the fact was what she liked. The other part, she avoided. It gave her time to make proper decisions nothing was rushed.

Then came the glee club, these people changed her life. They made her care. Made her love. Before them, she sang until the countless hours of the night then began another; she didn't worry about what people would say. Quite often she would have purposely stepped over someone to get to the top and never once felt remorse. Until she meet the people that had become her family but somehow she still felt alone. A single tear ran down her cheek and as she wiped it away, a few others followed.

Her hands covered her face and as she sat there attempting to block those tears the knock on her front door became unnoticed until moments that felt like hours later, she heard it and closed her eyes. The figments of her mind wouldn't win this time and as the knock became more frequent her eyes opened, maybe this wasn't her imagination.

Glancing at the clock, she grabbed her bathrobe and tightened around herself then padded to the door and without any care to who was on the other side; she pulled the door open as if it was a heavy piece of metal and watched it slam against the wall.

"Woah! Angry much?" he grinned to lighten the mood, but her glassy eyes turned to him and his smile vanished.

"What do you want Will?"

"To talk," he whispered and waited for her to shift to the side for him to walk past.

"I want to be alone Will. Just turn around and leave me," her arms hugged her body tight as if she was shielding herself from the world. She looked vulnerable.

He wanted to hug her, all the cells within his body demanded for him to step forward, but he knew better so he tried again, "What happened today Rachel…I…I don't think it was a mistake. I'm sorry for blaming you. I feel like a moron, but no one was to blame. You are so amazing Rachel, not a thing I would change about you. It has always been you, I wanted ever since the beginning of New York. I've always thought you were special right from the beginning and I just want you to know that you are never too late. I will always, always love you and this is a thing that music nor science can't define. No matter how much you try to I will always be here and I will ask for nothing in return but your love." His eyes were looking into hers as he spoke from his heart.

Each word he was saying slowly pulling at her heartstrings until it expanded as if it was making room for those cherished words.

No words left her lips as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other then walked away from the door in silence. He was shortly confused until he stepped over the threshold and closed the door gently then followed her path, he moved silently until he saw her standing by the window watching the outside world.

"Rach…I'm…."

"Shhh. Shhh," she hushed him gently. "You see those birds? Sometimes they mate and stick together for life, you may think that's absurd, but it can happen. I remember once reading the newspaper about this couple in the Republic of Ukraine where the bird tried to save his mate. Millions of people across America and Europe cried over those pictures. The condition of his mate was bad and he brought food and stayed with her with love and compassion.

Wanting to make her feel better he brought her more food," she chuckled with tears of sorrow on her eyes, "when he discovered that she had died, he tried to move her, it was his instinct but nothing happened. She was still dead and he still stayed with her and cried. The bird cried," she wiped her tears then turned to face Booth who stood there listening.

"My point is that, that bird didn't leave her side, he stayed there for hours and hours. That's what I believe love to be. To care so much about a person that you'd do anything and everything to be with that person. To take care of them, to be there in sickness and health…"

"…until death do us apart," he finished for her and took three steps until his arms wrapped around her. Then looking into her eyes, his hand came up to her jaw and with his thumb he lovingly guided her to his lips until the gentleness of hers made him want her more, "I will be that bird Rach. I will always be there for you."

"What about Cecelia? She could have made you happier. After I left you, I thought about it she's smart, beautiful, mature…"

"But she is not you," he interrupted. "I love you. You are kind. You are beautiful. Smart. Funny. Loving, even if you do not think you are. All those things make me love you Rachel. It makes it you and not a woman out there is ever going to be better than you for me," he told her.

"What if we don't work out and it ends badly like Finn. Will I don't think I could ever see you walk away from me forever. I don't think I could handle not seeing you every day."

"Not gonna happen," he smiled and kissed her once again, this time she kissed back. Her eyes closed and just allowed herself to fall. "Just let me love you forever."

Slowly nodding she smiled then said, "I love you too Will," and to those words she meant every single letter until the day that she died. Just like those birds.

And that, was something that not even she could explain with all of those scientific books that she had read at work. She was finally with her mate. The love that she felt for William Schuester was unconditional

~ The End ~

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought!


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